The cause of most of
the unhappiness on earth is that man and woman have
actually forgotten how to make physical love. This is the
greatest tragedy of all time. The forgetfulness has been
going on and slowly getting worse for so many thousands
of years that it’s now a tragedy for the whole of mankind.
There can be no mass solutions. The problem is too personal
and too deep. Everybody has to do it for himself or herself,
or it can’t be done.
Woman’s basic unhappiness, her perennial discontent,
is because man can no longer reach her physically. Her emotional
excess, depressions, tearful frustrations, even premenstrual
tension and the conditions leading to hysterectomy and other
uterine problems, are due to man’s sexual failure to gather
or release in lovemaking her finest, fundamental, female
energies. These extraordinarily beautiful divine energies
are intense and exquisite and when left untapped in woman,
as they are now, they degenerate into psychic or emotional
disturbances, and eventually crystallise into physical abnormalities.
The womb gives birth to all things.
Man’s basic unhappiness, his perennial restlessness,
is because in forgetting how to make love he’s abandoned
his original divine authority and lost sexual control of
himself. His emotional or psychic degeneracy manifests as
sex obsession. All men, without exception, are sex obsessed.
This means compulsive sexual fantasising, chronic masturbation
(even when living with a partner), sex repression leading
to anger and violence, and the universal symptoms of chasing
wealth and getting lost in work. Busyness and wealth-gathering
compensate for being an inept lover and are cover-ups (in
both sexes) for the inability or fear to love.
Because of his neglect of love, neglect of woman,
man suffers from premature ejaculation, guilt, anxiety,
self-doubt, impotence, sexual atrophy masquerading as sexual
disinterest, sexual abstinence due to repressed fear of
failure, sexual bravado and lack of true wisdom - all of
which he inflicts on woman, aggravating her basic discontent
and his own restlessness.
No matter how much a woman loves her man and wants
to give her love to him, she will not and cannot give up
all her divine energies if he is not yet himself, fully
integrated or aligned with love. As very few men are themselves,
the gap of unhappiness between man and woman keeps on growing.
To be a fully integrated male, a man has to assimilate
in his body the divine female energies that woman can only
release to him through right physical lovemaking. But the
man has to be man enough. He has to be able to love her
enough; that is, love her selflessly during the actual act
of lovemaking. He has to be able to absorb and express sufficient
love in his body to reach the highest part of her, and love
enough to extract the divine energies from her deepest centre.
To be able to love in this way is the authority man has
lost - his only true authority over woman.
This requires pure love. It does not depend on technique.
A man may develop his sexual technique but he cannot use
expertise to make divine love. Exciting sensations are gratifying
and give him a form of authority, but they are not the love
that woman craves. He may satisfy her, like a good meal.
But soon she hungers again and eventually despises her appetite
or herself, because she knows she is not being loved.
Man has failed to serve
love and failed physically to serve woman, who is the
personification of love. The penalty for man is woman’s
tyrannous emotionality. Wherever he loves, or tries to love,
she will one day shock him, stun him, devastate him by suddenly
revealing herself as the fiendess, the living demon of emotion.
The fiendess shows herself when he is attached and
can’t just walk away. A man who has not yet experienced
the hatred of the fiendess has not yet experienced love.
A woman who has not yet seen herself being the fiendess
has not yet connected with her love.
To man, the fiendess of emotion in woman is hell on earth.
This is the part of her he cannot handle or understand.
The demon of his own failure to love comes to life to scorn,
abuse and torment him. He is terrified of it. He bluffs
and blusters his way through. But finally, as he grows old
in the relationship and gives up for the sake of some peace,
the fiendess will conquer him and force him to surrender
the last vestige of his manliness and authority. Then they
both grow old together, feeling safe, but half dead as they
lean on each other in the awful world of compromise.
While the world continues as it is, the fiendess
will not allow man to forget his failure to love woman rightly.
Woman must be loved. The future of the human race depends
on woman being loved because only when woman is truly loved
can man be truly himself and regain his lost authority.
Only then can peace return to earth. Yet woman as she is
now cannot be loved for long (or for good) by man as he
is now. Together they are trapped in a vicious cycle and
if left to their own ideas of love, there is no way out
for them.
Woman has learned to make
love through man who does not know how to make love.
Hence the dreadful mess that love is in. Since time began
she has been manipulated and encouraged to feel that the
finest expression of her love is to please man sexually.
The truth is the other way around. The finest expression
of love is to have man delight her sexually. This he can
only do when he can forget his preoccupation with orgasm
and be sufficiently selfless or present in love to collect
and receive her divine energies. For him, these are the
finest expression of her love.
By teaching her to please him and satisfy him down
through the ages, man has taught woman to desire him, to
project herself sexually, to make herself attractive to
him. He addicted her to an emotional and physical craving
for his sexual attention. And he did this by neglecting
to love her.
Woman had no affirmation of love, her true nature,
since there was no man to love her rightly. So she settled
for sexual excitation, which man had persuaded her was love.
Men addicted her to this by teaching her that there is no
purpose to physical love outside of making babies or selfish
pleasure.
Man in his selfishness taught woman to be selfish.
He taught her to excite him physically whenever love was
not present; to project herself sexually for their mutual
entertainment through clothing, make-up, dance and posing.
And he encouraged her to let him excite her (and himself)
through digital stimulation of her clitoris to the point
of orgasm, instead of loving the beauty of her whole body.
The loveless narcotic of sex numbed her and like
all addictions, engendered fear - fear of losing him or
his attention, and fear of other women in the form of jealousy
and female competition. If she didn’t satisfy him another
woman soon would. And with this went the intimidating thought
sown in her by all her sexual partners: that if she didn’t
comply she’d be left alone.
As a reaction to this male infamy woman discovered
cunt power - the power to tease man and manipulate him without
delivering the goods, or by denying the goods when he wanted
them. But the spell of cunt power, being largely imaginary,
soon wore off after she let him enter her body. He would
soon tire of her and go off with another.
Woman’s subconscious dependence on the fluctuating
sexual attention of men rules her choice of partner. She
may go for either an exciting man whom she thinks she can
control, or an agreeable and safe partner whom she can quietly
bend to her wants. Both kinds of partnership usually end
- either in disaster or boredom and indifference.
Male sexuality is put
into woman in sexual intercourse and, because it is
substantive, it stays on in her. Its effect is a periodic
wispy shadow of depression that she can’t explain but accepts
as normal. It clouds her perception, making her feel emotional
and not herself. The same male sexuality is the active outgoing
selfish drive which made the world a violent and loveless
place. In woman, this destructive shadow of man subtly influences
her choice of partner. So very seldom is he Mr Right.
The male shadow in her is doubt. And it is the shadow
that chooses. While woman wants the right to choose she
has to make a choice; and then she must live with the shadow,
doubt, in the man and in herself.
Woman in her natural state is not dependent on man.
She loves him. And in love there is no dependence, and no
fear of losing. She is the passive, attracting principle.
She is an irresistible living magnet. She draws to herself
a right man to love her truly and divinely. There’s no choice
in it.
For woman today to return to her natural golden state
- of pure love - takes time. But having suffered enough
from man’s sexuality, she gradually learns not to compromise
when there is not enough love. Finally this brings her a
man who can remove the shadow from his love.
A woman is only ever less than her true nature because
of man’s lack of love. She went off into her dream of love
to escape his sexuality. Her babies have long been a substitute
for his love. Unlike man, a real woman can exist without
sexual intercourse or masturbation. She waits for love,
not sex. Woman only lusts for man when she identifies with
the male sexuality he has induced in her. ‘Nymphomania’
is a male invention and fantasy projection, like sex-shops,
pornography and prostitution, all kept going by male sexuality
and lack of love in all concerned.
Woman has been utterly fooled by man, pathologically
brainwashed. And as modern woman congratulates herself on
her progress in breaking down male domination in the world,
she fails to perceive that she is as firmly hooked as ever
on his orgasmic sexuality and his clitoral substitute for
love. Her protests are really about love, not equality;
but that’s not heard in the strident male arena.
It is man’s world and he built it on the strength of
sexual aggression. Male domination began in sex and
in sex it continues unabated. Woman cannot alter this position
by marching with banners or withdrawing from sex. She has
tried all the means at her disposal down through the centuries;
none has worked and none will. The solution is for her to
be in command of love. That does not mean to be in command
of the man. It means to know inside herself what is right
and true and stick to that, even if it means the man leaves
her. Woman is love. All she has to do is realise that, by
giving up her self doubt and fear.
© Barry Long 1984,1995,1998, 2001, 2003
Extracted from Making Love, Sexual Love the Divine Way
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